May 2021 - Dr. Joan Rosenberg

Hello,

The spring season is considered one of new growth, and as we move into this season, I’d like to apply that idea to the growth of a resilient mindset.

Developing a resilient mindset can help you live a life of your design.

The challenge is that many live lives of default rather than design.

So consider for yourself – where are you with living a life of default or a life of design.

“Living by design” does not mean that everything will happen exactly the way you plan; it means that you will have ideas about what you would love to create, be willing to take the risks to go after it, and be strong enough to build something meaningful out of whatever happens.

Most people seek stability in their lives, and they find that the predictability and consistency of routine they experience helps them feel safer and more secure in the world.

Yet there are expected changes that follow the natural order of life: watching children grow up; children leaving home for camp, college, travel, work, or marriage; changes in employment and career paths; the loss of parents or other loved ones.

While most people want and appreciate periods of stability, the absence of significant changes can lull you into a false sense of security.

When things remain stable and predictable over long periods of time, it is easy to believe that the status quo is the default setting for life.

Take a few moments to think about how life can change on a dime:

– unexpected accidents
– illness or disease
– natural disasters such as tornadoes, earthquakes, fires, and floods can destroy a home or take a life
– man-made insults and injuries can wipe out everything you have worked for or have known.

Everything can change in a matter of seconds. Consequently…

“Life is about handling the constancy of change,
not the constancy of routine.”

To successfully negotiate life challenges – painful ones in particular – you must develop your capacity to experience and effectively manage uncertainty and change; that often requires confidence and resilience.

And understanding and embodying that idea is the first step to living life by your own design.

This weeks action steps:

– Resolve to be curious and open in the face of change and adversity.

– Exhibit a willingness to learn from every life experience.

Warmly,

Dr. Joan Rosenberg

DrJoanRosenberg.com
90SecondsBook.com

Hello,

My final post on covering grief is what I call “the unexpected riches of grief”.

This might be a challenging idea to grasp – that the grief that you may feel holds value and depth – yet it can have a positive impact in your life.

First, understand that moving through grief means making sense of memories – your life stories – and the pain connected to those memories.

Once you have made sense of your life stories and make your way through emotional pain, the experience shifts from a life event, situation, or episode from which you may have distanced yourself, to an experience that is more meaningfully integrated into the overall narrative thread of how you tell the story of your life.

Yet you can’t make the pain disappear simply by saying to yourself, “Let’s just get rid of the bad stuff” – as if you’re just taking out the trash without a second thought.

The very feelings you tried to push away when those life events first occurred are ultimately the same ones that can help you move to a place of understanding and forgiveness.

In order to really, truly, move through grief, you have to come to grips with the fact that you can never undo what was done, nor do what was left undone.

Let’s read that again:

“In order to really move through grief, you have to come to grips with the fact that you can never undo what was done, nor do what was left undone.”

Making your way through this grief, then, is a crucial step as you move towards greater emotional well-being and emotional mastery.

You are able to release anger, bitterness, grudges, and resentment and can, instead, be less emotionally reactive. You can become a compassionate observer to what used to trigger you.

You’ll notice that you naturally become more spontaneous and present. You become self-aware and self-attuned.

You possess the ability to feel and live in (and with) your moment-to-moment experience.

Use the Grief Reset Protocol.

I know from my practice what it can do to change people’s lives.

When you deal with such grief, you open yourself up to laughter and joy.

When you forgive, you open to deeper connections, with yourself and others.

“When you deal with grief, you open yourself up to laughter and joy.

When you forgive, you open to deeper connections,
with yourself and others.”

Know that facing the truth within yourself is the only thing that puts you in the right relationship with yourself – and it is the only thing that can lead to love within and for yourself.

The more you stay present to the truth of what your life was, the more you free yourself to create a life you love.

Warmly,

Dr. Joan Rosenberg

DrJoanRosenberg.com
90SecondsBook.com

If you are wanting to revisit my previous posts on grief, follow these links:

1. Have You Been Experiencing Loss?
2. Disguised Grief
3. Helping You Make Sense of Unresolved Grief
4. How To Understand The Impact Of Your Life Experiences

Developing A Resilient Mindset

The Unexpected Riches Of Grief

Archives for May 2021