Margaret Croom, Author at Dr. Joan Rosenberg

Book Series 8: The Rosenberg Reset – Coping with life’s challenges in healthy ways

Emotional Strength, Emotional Well-Being

Let’s talk about the ‘ROSENBERG RESET’ and learning to cope with life’s challenges in healthy ways.

While working at the UCLA student-counseling center 25 years ago, I drew a diagram that became my blueprint for counseling clients. I can look back now and recognize that this drawing marked the beginning of the Rosenberg Reset. Essentially, the diagram captured two pathways: the first is one of avoidance, and the second is one of awareness. Most choose avoidance, but the healthier option, however, is to choose the path of awareness.

Many people have not learned to cope with life’s challenges in healthy ways; quite the contrary. The world is filled with countless distractions and ways to easily avoid difficult emotions. As young children grow up, we hope they learn to tolerate and manage the naturally difficult feelings inherent in living and growing. Yet many learn to avoid their unpleasant feelings instead, using such distractions as junk food, electronics, and alcohol to hide from these feelings. And these distractions can turn into more serious problems themselves.

This weeks questions:

How well do you experience and move through unpleasant feelings?
What were you told growing up about dealing with feelings?

How were you taught to handle emotional pain?

I continue this discussion deeper in the second chapter of my book. It’s a must read.

I’d love for you to respond on my facebook group!

Join my group on Facebook LOVE MY LIFE and let me know. I’ll post the question and jump on myself to chat and answer questions you may have, on Wednesday at 6:00 pm Pacific.

To A Life You Love,

Dr. Joan Rosenberg
DrJoanRosenberg.com
90SecondsBook.com

Book Series 7: Asking for Help & Relying On Others

Emotional Strength, Emotional Well-Being

Let’s talk about ‘asking for help and relying on others’ this week.

Being resourceful is the second defining element of emotional strength. Particularly important in being resourceful is having the ability to depend on others. It involves being comfortable with your need for both independence and dependence, as well as your feelings associated with both.

When you are open to and willing to rely on others, it becomes much easier for you to:

a) acknowledge your needs and limitations
b) ask for help
c) openly and warmly receive what is given (support, love, time, energy, etc.)

We are in an ‘individualistic culture’ and those who ask for help, appear to be weak. However, we are social beings and there is very little we can do 100% on our own. Asking for help is what it takes to become emotionally strong.

Asking opens the door to the last step: to receive graciously. It is appropriate to absorb what is good and to feel grateful for the appreciation and support of others. When others extend their assistance, wisdom, availability, time, talents, or enthusiasm to you, unquestionably, they are giving of themselves. Gracious receipt of their generosity not only meets whatever needs you may have, it also honors them. When you allow yourself to receive, thus honor, you have reached that harmonious balance between independence and dependence.

This weeks question:

Do you find it easy to ask for help? Are you open to receiving help?

Do you think ‘about’ your experiences or think them ‘away’?

_{I continue this discussion deeper in the first chapter of my book. It’s a must read.

I’d love for you to respond on my facebook group!}

_{Join my group on Facebook LOVE MY LIFE and let me know. I’ll post the question and jump on myself to chat and answer questions you may have, on Wednesday at 3:30pm Pacific.

To A Life You Love,

Dr. Joan Rosenberg
DrJoanRosenberg.com
90SecondsBook.com}

_{P.S.
Here’s how to get the book:
Step 1: Buy the book at any of these online stores:
IndieBound | Barnes & Noble | Amazon UK | Amazon | Powells Books | BAM! | Book Depository | Waterstone

Step 2: Claim your bonuses here.}

Book Series 6: Feeling Capable – Relying on Yourself

Emotional Strength, Emotional Well-Being

Let’s talk about ‘relying on yourself’ this week.

_{You might be thinking ‘I do that every day Dr. Joan!”. Let me be clear … if you are avoiding unpleasant feelings, that is NOT relying on yourself. In my tens of thousands of hours as a therapist and studying how I could help clients deal with how difficult feelings, I found there were 5 patterns of behavior people used to avoid unpleasant feelings. (I cover all 5 in length in the first chapter of ’90 Seconds To A Life You Love’.

As soon as you increase your awareness and acceptance of the full range of your feelings – pleasant and unpleasant – your experience of yourself and your sense of being capable in the world starts to change in a very positive way.

Think about what you do and really take time to ponder that statement. Once a person is able to tolerate unpleasant feelings, everything else changes, too. There is an almost immediate experience of growth, movement, and momentum. People feel stronger and more empowered; they become willing to speak up and have difficult conversations, take risks that once felt too difficult or frightening, and actively pursue dreams that previously felt out of reach.}_{As you heighten your self-awareness, you will likely find you develop a greater capacity to tolerate, face, know, bear, feel, embrace, and express as much of your moment-to-moment experience as possible. Typically, the greater your self-awareness and willingness to stay present to your experience, the more capable you become in negotiating all aspects of life.}

_{This weeks question:

What is your capacity to deal with your unpleasant emotions?}

_{I continue this discussion deeper in the first chapter of my book. It’s a must read.

I’d love for you to respond on my facebook group!}

Book Series 4: How To Achieve Emotional Mastery – Emotional Strength and Weakness

Confidence, Emotional Strength

Over my three and a half decades of counseling, I came to recognize a pattern among many of my clients that involved common-yet-destructive misconceptions about emotional strength and emotional weakness. I found that individuals with the lowest levels of self-confidence generally held tightly to the beliefs or behaviors described below.

In my book ‘90 Seconds To A Life You Love’, I talk about 14 beliefs that characterize low-confidence individuals. A few of them are:

disdain uncomfortable and unpleasant feelings
doubt or question most things they say or do
are hesitant to take risks
often feel anxious
tend to worry about being a burden to others
worry about what others think of them

What have you been taught about emotional strength and weakness? Do any of the following comments sound familiar to you?

Tearfulness and crying make you look weak.
Tough it out.
Buck up.
Get over it.

Join my group on Facebook group LOVE MY LIFE on Wednesday 3:30pm PST and let me know what your thoughts are about emotional strength.

I can respond directly to you then.

See you there!

To A Life You Love,

Dr. Joan Rosenberg
DrJoanRosenberg.com
90SecondsBook.com

Book Series 3: How To Achieve Emotional Mastery – Building the Framework

Confidence, Emotional Strength, Emotional Well-Being

Over recent weeks, I’ve been talking about the importance of managing your feelings well. I’m not really one to beat around the bush, so, if you’re good with it, let’s just jump right in.

Have you ever heard the term “emotional management disorder”? Think of it as the inability to comfortably manage your everyday emotional reactions and experiences. Stop for a moment and consider whether you allow yourself to be aware and in touch or have difficulty tolerating your thoughts, feelings, needs, and perceptions? or If you “try not to know what you know”, then there’s a good chance that you are finding ways to “check out” or distract from your experiences – the thoughts, feelings, needs and perceptions that you sorta know are true for you.

In my book ‘90 Seconds To A Life You Love’, I tell a story about “Liz”, who first came to see me because she was suffering from an eating disorder. I walk through “how” this came about and “how” it became apparent that the problem for which she came to therapy for was a clear signal of something deeper and harder for her to experience. It wasn’t about the food at all.

Does this sound familiar? Perhaps you put your attention on issues or concerns that shift the focus away from what is really bothering you. Instead, you find ways to distract yourself from your real concerns. Maybe you’re still having a hard time because you are focusing on “controlling” the wrong thing?

This week I’d like you to consider the following thought:

Write down what you do to control your emotions. Write down what you believe the reason may be for doing so and then dig deeper and write down what may be really bothering you. Is there an epiphany? What did you learn?

In my book, I go further into Liz’ story and the real root cause of her eating disorder. She had an epiphany!

Join my group on Facebook LOVE MY LIFE and let me know. I’d love for you to respond on my facebook group! That way I can respond directly with you there.

I’ll post the question and jump on myself to chat as well on Wednesday afternoons around 3:30 PDT.

See you there!

To A Life You Love,

Dr. Joan Rosenberg
DrJoanRosenberg.com
90SecondsBook.com_{P.S.
Here’s how to get the book:
Step 1: Buy the book at any of these online stores:
IndieBound | Barnes & Noble | Amazon UK | Amazon | Powells Books | BAM! | Book Depository | Waterstone

Step 2: Claim your bonuses here.}

Book Series 2: The Gift of Unpleasant Feelings

Confidence, Emotional Strength

In my book ‘90 Seconds To A Life You Love’, I start off by talking about the skills that have to be built to reset your ability to absorb and deal with unpleasant feelings.

Did you ever think that unpleasant feelings were a gift?

Most of us want to avoid unpleasant thoughts and feelings either because they are so darn uncomfortable or because they elicit some measure of pain. This avoidance, what some psychologists call “experiential avoidance,” occurs by distracting yourself.

If you continue to distract or stay disconnected from the truth of your own life experiences over long periods of time, you might experience feelings of emptiness, numbness, and soulful depressionTM – a result of being disconnected from yourself.

When you’re able to effectively handle unpleasant emotions, you’re likely to feel more centered, confident, capable, and calm in the moment. Your consistent ability to deal with these feelings translates into relief from anxiety, harsh self-criticism, and negative self-talk.

I continue this discussion deeper in the first chapter of my book. It’s a must read.

This weeks question: Which of the eight unpleasant feelings (sadness, shame, helplessness, anger, vulnerability, embarrassment, disappointment and frustration) do you have the hardest time with? Any thoughts about why this/these particular feelings?

I’d love for you to respond on my facebook group!

Join my group on Facebook LOVE MY LIFE and let me know. I’ll post the question and jump on myself to chat as well on Wednesday.

To A Life You Love,