What is bad emotional math, and how does it apply to you?

If I were to ask you whether you tended to think more negative thoughts or positive thoughts, what would your answer be? Your manner of thinking really makes a difference in how you feel and the two are uniquely intertwined.

Positive emotions can help broaden and build constructive thinking patterns, while negative emotions can narrow your focus and overall life fulfillment.

This way of thinking and mindset, for most people, isn’t new information. It is well known that your mindset has a direct influence on your physical and emotional health, so let’s take a look at the kind of negative thinking that undermines your confidence, health, and overall sense of well-being – and what you can do to effect positive change in your thinking patterns.

Bad Emotional Math
One bad thing = All bad things
Always was = Always will be
Past = Present

Good Emotional Math
One bad thing = One bad thing
Always was ≠ Now or future
Past ≠ Present

Negative thinking will reinforce and strengthen memories of a difficult past and previous toxic thinking patterns. All of your prior learning, difficult experiences, and memories, will then affect how you perceive and interpret the present.

Consequently, if you are locked into recalling these types of memories or engaging in these kinds of thought patterns, you are preventing yourself from living fully in the present and from experiencing contented, satisfied, or happy states. Negative thinking only leaves you agitated about a painful past or anticipating a bad future with nothing to appreciate, look forward to, or celebrate.

Dealing with negative thinking is different from dealing with unpleasant feelings, though negative thinking is linked with and often generates many unpleasant feelings. Negative thinking colors the way you interpret everything else and, like the repetition it takes to learn a skill, it generally requires repeated efforts to train your brain to engage in positive thinking.

We will take another look next week at more “Bad Emotional Math” and “Good Emotional Math” equations.

This weeks action step:
Take a curious, kind, and gentle look at the way you see yourself. What do you think about? What kind of thoughts predominate? Do you notice any common themes, patterns, or trends?

Sending my best,
Dr. Joan Rosenberg

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Let’s talk about change.

During the past four months, it seems we have been experiencing ever evolving challenges as this time has progressed. As with the start of anything new – in this case the month of July – I want to encourage you to take a few moments to reflect on the experiences and challenges that you have faced in the first half of 2020.

In the previous weeks, we have touched on everything from self-reflection, to emotional resilience, to vulnerability and personal growth. Yet, in all of those conversations, there has been a thread that connected each and every one: Change.

“It is imperative that you develop the capacity to experience and effectively manage change, so you can make the desired choices and the necessary risks for moving your life forward”

We can look at change a couple different ways: the first, is to consider experiences, events, or circumstances that require change (e.g. Coronavirus) and the second, are changes that we choose to engage in (e.g. developing a new positive habit like exercising three times a week).

Change is neither good nor bad; we ascribe meaning to the change itself. Even if you face difficult circumstances that require change, you can still hold attitudes and beliefs that you can learn from every life experience. Given that changes will happen whether or not you want them to happen, it’s important that you learn to develop the mindset that helps facilitate your ability to handle change in a more effective manner.

“I know change is the constant in life;
my intent is to be flexible and adaptive in the face of change.”

Just as change is the constant in life, you, too, are also ever-evolving. So my note to you today, is to use the start of this new month as a call to action for yourself, a call that encourages you to choose beliefs and attitudes so you are better equipped to manage the changes that no doubt will come.

This weeks action step:

Follow the link below, or in the button at the bottom of my page, and join me on LinkedIn Learning, where I share my course – “Dealing with Grief, Loss, and Change” – where it offers countless strategies to help you negotiate such changes. I encourage you to watch it and make use of the ideas that are relevant for you.

Sending my best,
Dr. Joan Rosenberg

Join my group on Facebook LOVE MY LIFE and let me know.  Feel free to share my series with your friends or colleagues as well.

Click here -> LinkedIn Learning Course

A part two to my emotional resilience series where I ask: How can you take previous life challenges, and use them to help you become emotionally resilient.

As we close up this last week of June, I want to continue our discussion of emotional resilience, and how you can take these teachings as “tools of resilience”, that you can use throughout your life.

“In order to cultivate emotional resiliency during trying times, it’s helpful to look at your experiences from another perspective.”

Resilience, which you can think of as emotional elasticity or flexibility, is one of the primary outcomes of the Rosenberg Reset. It’s a “bouncing back” to original form, though this depends on the variety of resources you bring to a given situation and the degree of difficulty of your life circumstances.

Resilience can also be thought of in a broader context, however, as this ability to bounce back is essential when one is facing adversities or challenges. Emotional resilience can help you develop the capacity to experience and effectively manage change. When you handle change better, you can make choices and take necessary risks for moving your life forward.

The first element of resilience involves your attitude about the dynamic nature of life. My emphasis? Approach life with an open and curious nature that is always respectful and conscious of change, with an intent to develop the resources you need to meet, face, and effectively manage these life challenges.

“Know that the greatest sense of stability and security is achieved when you feel resourceful within, not just when your life is filled with resources (and things) outside of you.”

Holding this open and positive attitude, helps you develop emotional flexibility, emotional strength, and a sense of resourcefulness in the face of constant change. By all means, experience and enjoy routine, predictability, and stability – just remember that it is not permanent. Know that you will be the most effective when you can accept the inconstancies of life.

Put your energy into maximizing your capacity to approach life with curiosity so you have the most effective attitude to handle whatever challenges you might face.

For this weeks “Statements Of Resiliency” below, find a place you can put them up and will see them often, and when reading them, I want you to focus on keeping a “never give up” attitude.

1. I will persist and persevere because those are integral aspects of facing challenges, being successful, and achieving my dreams.

2. I approach life with curiosity and openness; curiosity, not criticism, is my go-to response.

3. I feel capable and trust in my ability to experience and express unpleasant feelings.

4. I know change is the constant in life; my intent is to be flexible and adaptive in the face of change.

Sending my best,
Dr. Joan Rosenberg

Join my group on Facebook LOVE MY LIFE and let me know.  Feel free to share my series with your friends or colleagues as well.