LET’S TALK ABOUT LINGERING FEELINGS
I hope you are enjoying my weekly emails, covering ‘90 Seconds To A Life You Love‘. If you’ve finished the book, these weekly reminders can be really helpful! For those of you who have not purchased the book yet, remember the weekly ‘chats’ so to speak are only a small portion of each topic. Make sure you go grab the book so you won’t miss out. It’s $18 hardback on Amazon and $14 on Kindle. There are also downloadable resources (worksheets, etc.) at your disposal if you purchase the book as well.
When I explain the Rosenberg Reset, the question that always arises at this point is, “My feelings seem to last so much longer than 90 seconds. What’s up with that, Dr. Rosenberg?” Increased cortisol, the stress hormone, can cause that effect, yet rumination appears to play a major role.
If you continue to feel the feeling (e.g., sadness, anger, disappointment) for more than 90 seconds, it is generally because you continue to think about the triggering situation or memory over and over, often in an effort to resolve or make sense of it. Each time you think about the situation, you trigger roughly the same biochemical waves, meaning you experience approximately the same bodily sensations tied to the emotion, memory, or situation.
It is your memory of the emotion – not the emotion itself – that lasts minutes, hours, days, years, perhaps even decades past the initial event. It is your remembering that elicits a physiological experience or bodily sensations similar to the ones you initially felt.
In other words, the emotions may be re-membered (felt in your body) each time you recall the memory. Thankfully, you have the choice of what to think about – and thus feel. Once you are conscious of this process, you can change it.
This weeks questions:
- Do you experience lingering feelings?
- What might keep them lingering for you?
- What memories are your feelings attached to?
- What seems unresolved?
Next week’s topic: Parental Influences on Feelings.
I’d love for you to respond on my facebook group!
Join my group on Facebook LOVE MY LIFE and let me know. I’ll post the question and jump on myself to chat and answer questions you may have, on Wednesday at 3:00 pm Pacific.
To A Life You Love,
Dr. Joan Rosenberg