You can really think of the effort to control as an effort at preventing or stopping feelings all together.

How many people have you heard describe themselves as “control freaks”? Or say that they hate “losing control”? Perhaps you feel this way, too.

The word “control” implies that something is being imposed from the outside or occurring outside the self. You may have noticed that certain people will try to control situations or events.

The trouble is that people think this issue of control has to do with managing all those external situations, for example, in the way they are perceived or how they conduct themselves in highly emotional circumstances. But the real focus needs to be on their internal life – where all the messy, “out-of-control” feelings are. When the “inside life” seems unmanageable, it feels comfortable to try to enforce a measure of control on external, “outside life” matters instead.

You can really think of the effort to control as an effort at preventing or stopping feelings all together.

The aim, then, is to help you be in touch with as much of your emotional experience as you can bear. You want to be able to modulate your feelings well and be able respond to situations and events in an adaptive and flexible manner.

Next week, I’ll talk about ‘Disconnection and Distraction’.

This weeks questions:

Do you identify with the idea being a control freak?

How has this effected your personal life? Your work life? Or, pursuing your creative endeavors and getting them out to the public?

I’d love for you to respond on my facebook group if you feel comfortable!!

Join my group on Facebook LOVE MY LIFE and let me know.

To A Life You Love,

Dr. Joan Rosenberg