Disappointment is experienced when we are faced with unmet needs, desires, and expectations.
What does disappointment highlight? How do you handle disappointment? We hope, expect, or anticipate something positive yet we are met with an unwanted and unfavorable outcome. Disappointment highlights our helplessness and lack of control over certain situations.
Disappointment is often contrasted with regret. Regret comes from believing you made a bad decision when you dislike your obtained outcome relative to your desired one. With disappointment, you would have still made the same choice; it’s just that you wanted a better outcome.
Let me offer one more distinction – disappointment is the feeling; “disappointed in”, as in “I am disappointed in myself for doing poorly on the exam”, is a judgment. (This is true for shame relative to “I’m ashamed of myself.”) In both cases, use the former when you are talking about feelings, not the latter.
Within relationships, expressing disappointment helps communicate that someone may need to change their behavior. Disappointment can be motivational; people who have experienced disappointment may be motivated to persist and work harder so they are able to accomplish what they had hoped to achieve.
This week, like in previous weeks when discussing uncomfortable feelings, we must come to the understanding that while these feelings are hard, difficult, and often time strenuous, they are important. Disappointment can be an especially hard feeling, but I want you to know that through disappointment and the adversity that comes with it, you can find a way forward, and create a life that you love.
This weeks question:
How has being disappointed led to a situation that you could look back and say “I’m proud of myself, and I did a good job”?
And then, going forward, how can you apply that thinking to other obstacles in your life?
I’d love for you to respond on my facebook group!
Join my group on Facebook LOVE MY LIFE and let me know. I’ll post the question and jump on myself to chat and answer questions.
To A Life You Love,
Dr. Joan Rosenberg