You can’t feel capable, nor confident, until you have a sense that you can handle the feelings associated with things not working out the way you wanted.
As we approach the end of October, I hope you have been able to experience inner peace and self understanding from my weekly reading series. But before we dive in to this week, I would encourage you to join my Facebook “Love My Life” group if you aren’t already apart of it. In a few weeks, I will be doing a live Q&A while going over a chapter in my book that speaks on avoiding pitfalls while identifying and overcoming distractions. I’ll also answer questions that you might have for me! Please feel free to post your question in the Facebook group.
The eight unpleasant emotions I have identified in my book – sadness, shame, helplessness, anger, embarrassment, disappointment, frustration, and vulnerability – are our most common, everyday, uncomfortable reactions to things not turning out the way we want or believe we need. They are central to the decisions we make, the relationships we are in or want to develop, and the goals or dreams we want to pursue, yet we go to great lengths to avoid experiencing them.
A wide range of common emotional problems or challenges can be distilled down to difficulty experiencing and managing these eight unpleasant feelings. Certainly, you are a far more complex person than this, but if you have difficulty tolerating these unpleasant emotional states, then it is possible you are struggling in one or more areas of your life, such as in relationships, with addictions, or in taking risks to pursue your interests, goals, or dreams. You may not be struggling with all eight unpleasant feelings at once – in fact that is highly unlikely. At any given time you are probably just facing a few, or even just one.
Yet, if you can experience and move through the eight unpleasant feelings you’ll feel more centered, calm, confident, and resilient. The experience precedes the confidence, not the other way around. You can’t feel capable, nor confident, until you have a sense that you can handle the feelings associated with things not working out the way you wanted. Being able to fully experience and handle the range of these eight unpleasant emotions is the first step to confidence, resilience, and authenticity, and a first step to loving yourself. Loving yourself is also part of living a life you love!
Next week, I’ll talk about ‘Why Accurately Labeling Feelings Leads To Self Love’.
This weeks questions:
How have you used the 90 Seconds approach and being able to experience and improve through your 8 unpleasant feelings to help build emotional strength and confidence?
How can you take those insights and apply them to experience even more progress in your life?
I’d love for you to respond on my facebook group if you feel comfortable!!
Join my group on Facebook LOVE MY LIFE and let me know. Also, November 11th, I’ll be going live to talk about ‘Avoiding Pitfalls by Identifying and Overcoming Distractions’. Please join me!
To A Life You Love,
Dr. Joan Rosenberg