Let’s talk about ‘relying on yourself’ this week.
You might be thinking ‘I do that every day Dr. Joan!”. Let me be clear … if you are avoiding unpleasant feelings, that is NOT relying on yourself. In my tens of thousands of hours as a therapist and studying how I could help clients deal with how difficult feelings, I found there were 5 patterns of behavior people used to avoid unpleasant feelings. (I cover all 5 in length in the first chapter of ’90 Seconds To A Life You Love’.
As soon as you increase your awareness and acceptance of the full range of your feelings – pleasant and unpleasant – your experience of yourself and your sense of being capable in the world starts to change in a very positive way.
Think about what you do and really take time to ponder that statement. Once a person is able to tolerate unpleasant feelings, everything else changes, too. There is an almost immediate experience of growth, movement, and momentum. People feel stronger and more empowered; they become willing to speak up and have difficult conversations, take risks that once felt too difficult or frightening, and actively pursue dreams that previously felt out of reach.
As you heighten your self-awareness, you will likely find you develop a greater capacity to tolerate, face, know, bear, feel, embrace, and express as much of your moment-to-moment experience as possible. Typically, the greater your self-awareness and willingness to stay present to your experience, the more capable you become in negotiating all aspects of life.
What is your capacity to deal with your unpleasant emotions?
I’d love for you to respond on my facebook group!
Join my group on Facebook LOVE MY LIFE and let me know. I’ll post the question and jump on myself to chat and answer questions you may have, on Wednesday at 3:30pm Pacific.
To A Life You Love,
Dr. Joan Rosenberg
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